First, here's some rules I've heard that you should probably consider breaking. Next, there's a couple suggestions I think you should follow and just a little bit of my very own love advice, just for you. Take a look, Love!
1. "Don't be needy". There is a blurred line between loving and needy and that line can be easily crossed. but, I was so scared of crossing this line that I let him be so free, that I tried to show so little care, that I tried to control his life barely, that he felt unwanted by me. Honestly, I think it's better to be a little needy because then they always know that though you can be slightly annoying at times, you love them. It's all out of love. Being really independent and unneedy like I am can make them feel unloved and unwanted.
2. "Only showcase the best parts of yourself". Like in "Hitch", it is often said to only let the person see the best of you. I'll agree to this for first dates but after that, why bother? That person is either going to like who you truly are, or they're not. So by hiding yourself, you're wasting time. If you love them and they love you, great. But if they finally know who you are after five years and then decide they don't like it, you've just wasted a good four and a half years that you could have potentially found someone that loved you.
3. "Never take someone back". Taylor Swift's song just seemed so legit,I used to always believe that I'd follow this rule. Well, I disagree now. I was all about no second chances, no resuscitation of a dead heart, no rekindled flame. But, one day, you might get back together with because it's not a second chance. It's their first chance, their first chance was never quite over. I don't mean this really for those who cheat (and I don't consider a kiss a big cheating offense, by the way) or do something crazy like hit you. I more mean this for the guy who broke up with you one day after you began drifting apart.
4. "If something, anything, is bothering you, talk about it". This is very difficult. I think that if something big is bothering you like that he doesn't make enough time for you, then go ahead and talk to him about it. But, if its something little like how he taps his feet or bites his lip or wears really cheesy Star War tee-shirts from the 90's, by all means honey, LET IT GO. Choose your battles, and choose them wisely. Nit picking won't help at all but will probably just offend him. If you really hate something small, you can suggest something new instead and he may just love it. That's why I chose this risque picture, because he is the star-wars-tee-shirt-guy and shes helping him with a new button up which be probably loves almost as much as her sex lingerie.
5. Always use "I" statements, not "You" statements. Though saying "I'm just very disappointed that we can't spend more time together" is better than "you need to make time for me", I think there's an even better solution. Try "WE"! "We should try to spend more time together" "we can get through this" "We should do that"... It's great. Whenever my partner uses "we" I feel as if he is taking himself into the equation while also reminding me that after all of this, we are still a team. We are still together and by using "we" he shows that "we" can make it through and "I" can't do it alone.
Next, here's some rules I do think you should obey. I know that relationships can't and really shouldn't have rules, so here's some "suggestions". Cool? Cool.
1. "The dumpees shouldn't call". The dumpee is the one getting dumped obviously and in my mind, usually shouldn't call the dumper. Usually this call or text results in embarrassing begging and suggestions to get back together. No. If someone just broke up with you, they meant it to your knowledge. If they didn't, they'll find their way back to you, no worries. I suggest never calling them first and letting yourself get over them. Holding on won't do you any good.
2. "You can never love someone as much as you can miss them; keep that in mind". This one is rather sad. When you're the dumper especially, it's easy to miss that person a whole lot and being the dumper, you have the power to go back to them. But, I don't always believe this is a good thing. You broke up with them for a reason, remember those reasons. I have always been a person who misses people and always wants them back but I must remind myself that things were over and my feelings for them were weaker then than they are now, when I miss this person. That's kind of difficult to explain, sorry.
3. "Do not change; Adjust". We all have things we don't Love with a capital L about our partners and that's okay. And being a partner to someone else, you've got to adjust to this. I don't think people should change, because why would you fall in love with someone just to change them? Nuh uh. Just don't. But, if they don't like how much money you spend on make up, cut it down. Don't just stop wearing make up, do your thang, girl! And if they don't think that you pay enough attention to them, adjust. Make time. You don't have to make them the center of your universe.
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