How To Get A Player To Like You (The Guide to Players of All Kinds!)

Yes, we all know that boy. He's charming, maybe plays a sport or two, is impeccably handsome.. But, he's a player. And you want him. Well, Girls, I'm going to help you get that boy.

(By the way, this is Austin Butler as Sebastian in The Carrie Diaries, which is currently my favorite show. So frickin cute, right?!)

Since this is a girl to girl tutorial on how to score that hot player, I'm going to let you know how I did it personally and how other girls that I did my research on have.

Let's get to it.

 We first need to establish the kind of player we're talking about here. For me, the definition of a player is a charming, cute guy who either dates everyone shallowly or dates no one at all.

There's different kinds of players but mostly I've found that there are two.

A. The Sporty Player

B. The more "Outcast" (is nearly too good for anyone) Player

I know that there is more than this and message me if you think of a different kind or need some help, I'll happily offer my services.

HOW TO GET A PLAYER TO LIKE YOU

1.Play hard to get. Before you dismiss this step, here me out. The essence of players is that they are adored by many girls, most of which are probably flirting or talking to him all the time. I want you to make your presence known (more on this later) but don't try to get flirty with him at first. Just be cool and act slightly uninterested. I know this sounds totally crazy, but it works, I swear! Playing hard to get can grab his attention because you're the only girl in the room who's not trying to get his number.

2. Create a situation in which you can talk to him at school. The more constant it is, the better. Grab that seat next to him in Chem, Notice that one of your friends has a locker near him, anything! I am aware of how silly this sounds, but if you want the player, you have to do this. I would suggest that this time isn't really alone time, but in more of a casual or group setting.

2.5. Once you have the seeing him often thing down, start with little things. Drop a pen, casually (and carefully) include him in you and your friends' convo, talk to him in the hallway. If you're a shy girl like me, this can sound nearly impossible. But, don't worry! You can do it! 

You're a hot young woman and if you want to talk to that cutie in the hallway about if he just passed that impossible math test, girl, you do it!

3. Create a situation where you can seem him outside of school. Yes, I did just say outside of school. But, that can include any school event, a party, a hang out, anything! I personally recommend things like bonfires, football games and rallies, you can talk to him at a school dance or show up to a party you both got invited to. 

(The very optional step) 3.5. Invite him to a hang out of your own, if everything is going well. I'm not saying invite him over to your house, but correlate some sort of party (I don't mean the drinking kind) with your friends and tack him and a couple other normal, cool guys to the list. Not everyone can do this, I understand. But, I've seen a lot of girls do it and it works, so I thought that I might as well include it.

4. Alone time at school. If you have been following the last couple steps, this one will be a breeze. Wait for him to suggest it and if he doesn't, you go ahead. Tutor him, help him with a project, eat lunch together for some reason, just make up something that'll give you two an excuse to hang out together (mostly) alone at school. If you have off campus lunch, complain that your friend totally bailed on this place you were going and say something like "hey, you wanna come? Milkshakes, my treat!"

He'll either say no and say another time (he may be interested! uh, hell yes!)

or say no and walk away (doubt it at this point)

or you'll get to go have milkshakes.

I would continue with this step until you're sure he likes you and even until he makes a move.

5. Hang out.. Outside of school. This is a major step and if you've gotten this far, you either have a new guy friend (score!) or a new nearly boyfriend (double freaking score!). If he likes you, he'll probably start making up excuses to see you. Otherwise, you can just bring up some events going on in your town and see if he takes the bait. For example,

You: Oh, I can't wait to see (Insert movie title). But none of my friends are going to see it. 

Cutie: Oh.

You: Hey, do you want to see it together? I'll sneak candy in my purse, free of charge.

OR

 You: Oh, I can't wait to see (Insert movie title). But none of my friends are going to see it. 

Cutie: Do you maybe want to go together?

You: Yeah sounds fun. *Mentally: Hell freaking yes!*

6. Start going on real dates. Let's get real, Ladies. By this point in time, you'll know whether or not he likes you. And I honestly think that if you've made it to hanging out on your own, he probably does like you. But (but but but but but) he could just want to be friends with you, which is perfectly fine. If he doesn't start asking you out on real dates or telling you how he feels, this is the only step where I'll tell you not to take it into your own hands. Continue being his friend for a while until you feel that you must tell him, and if you do, keep it cool, short and honest. There's nothing I can do to help you beyond this point.

Well, those are the basic steps.

I'll now include some great tips to pair with the steps, or just on their own if you don't need the silly steps.

Keep it cool! No guy likes an eager or prissy girl. Just keep calm! I know that he's super cute and you want to bat your eyelashes and apply a bucket of lip gloss when he walks in the room, but keep it cool, girl! Don't pay much attention to him until you're friends and even then, try to be normal and nice. I'm not sure how to explain how to be cool, but um, I hope you catch my drift.

Look good... Most of the time. I'm aware that the internet tells you that you can wear your hair and clothes however you want and there's no need for dressing up and blah blah blah, BUT I feel like that's a little silly. There is a line to be drawn, of course, but I see no harm in brushing your hair nicely and looking good when you get to school. A little mascara and strawberry chapstick wouldn't kill you, Honey. The added confidence to looking good will make you feel great too!.. And attract your hottie.

Keep it real. Sometimes it's wired in girls brains to act a little dumb, or extra girly, or to just act differently when around a guy. I make the mistake of doing it all the time, I'll admit. But, own it! Own yourself, Girlfriend. If you're smarter than he is, be smarter. No need to be like Cady from Mean Girls and pretend to be dumb or anything but how beautifully intelligent you are. And this goes for everything from being athletic, tomboy-ish, a little girly and even silly. Own yo-self, Girl!

Try not to be eager. Again, if he's a player, that means that he's probably surrounded by needy, eager girls all the time and if you aren't that way, you'll stick out.

Lastly, I'll tell you the story of how I scored my very own player... if you don't want to read this, thanks for reading my blog! Check out my other posts and the poll, comment and share:)

I met my player officially in August. He played football and soccer and was really cute and all the girls adored him. 

We were sat next to each other in both math and chem and one day in math, he made a joke and out of pity, I gave him a small fake laugh. I thought that he was so popular he wouldn't actually want anything to do with me. 

When I noticed he showed interest, I played hard to get. He still mocks me for this game, to this day. 

We went to homecoming in October and began dating in December of 2014. We've now been dating for 7 months as of July 9th.

So, here's the steps. 

1. I played hard to get when I showed no interest in him for weeks. 

2. I sat by him in chem so we could talk everyday. 

2.5. I dropped pens and made small talk.

3. We went to bonfires and homecoming 

I didn't do step 3.5

4. We went out to lunches and such at school, alone. 

5. We hung out alone outside of school via simple movies and again, for food. 

6. I sort of hate dates, but we have gone out to the movies and such. 

So there you have it! 

Thanks for reading and please comment and share and look at the poll and read more of my stuff!:)

Thanks!

xx 

Madi

The Ultimate Guide to the Perfect First Kiss

First kisses. Before I had my first kiss, everyone told me that it was no big deal. But, I was thinking Uh, yes it is! I want to know what it feels like. I don't want to be the only one not to know what it feels like! How do I even kiss well? What if it goes wrong? But, oooh, what if it goes right?!

Well, girls and guys, I'm here to answer all those questions for you and give you a casual but helpful guide on how to have a great first kiss. 

I'll first give you some tips on how to have a nice first kiss, followed by some answering of common questions and at the end I'll tell you the story of my first kiss (which wasn't like the movies, so it'll calm your nerves!). Some issues I'll end up addressing multiple times.. And, Guys, I wrote this mainly for girls, but I'll include notes for you also:)

BASIC TIPS FOR YOUR FIRST KISS

1. The most obvious tip is to make sure your lips are nice and soft. If you have super chapped lips, opt for one of the lip balm pots by brands like Carmex or Blistex for the intense moisturizing. During the day, wear something without smell or taste if possible, unless it's very light and sweet. I swore by my strawberry Eos during my first kiss and my boyfriend, to this day, still loves the stuff.

But honestly, a first kiss is usually a light peck, so don't worry too much if your lips aren't smooth as an angels cheeks. Just make sure you don't go overboard with the product. Odds are, your lips are just fine and your crush will be pleased with them.

2. Let's talk about the whole breath situation. This is important, so read carefully. It's easy as ABC.

A. Chew mint gum about an hour before, if you know it's going to happen.

B. Make sure you spit out this gum and if needed, swallow it. (I know, that's gross. But desperate times call for desperate measures.)

C. Pop in some sort of small mint within five to ten minutes before. This mint must be completely dissolved by the time of the kiss, so chew it, spit it out or swallow it if necessary. I'd opt for chewing it up and making sure nothing grainy from it stuck behind.

Again, first kisses are usually pecks so your crush may not even notice your breath and it probably wouldn't even be that bad anyway. if it's spontaneous and you can predict it and therefore prepare for it, sometimes that's actually better! So no worries no matter what.

3. RELAX! Relax those lips, honey. I know how stressful it can be the moment before and how you're trying to remember everything you read on the internet and heard from your friends and this and that and blah blah blah. But, take a deep breath and let your pretty little lips hang loose. There should be a tiny little gap between your top and bottom lip when you do this. It'll make your kiss softer and sweeter, I promise.

THINGS NOT TO DO DURING YOUR FIRST KISS

1. Do not pucker. Just, don't. We've all seen the movies and how it looks like couples pucker, but babe, they do not. Just relax your lips (as I've previously mentioned)and let your instincts handle the rest.

2. Do not wear lip gloss. I was literally the girl at my school known for her love and impeccable taste in lip glosses, but when it came time for the kiss, I abandoned all of that. Though lip gloss can make your lips the perfect color and make them look irresistibly juicy, it turns into a sticky mess. Instead, go for a lip stain under chapstick!

3. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN THE STEPS! This is the most important 'do not'. 

1. Look into their eyes

2. Tilt your head

3. Lean in

4. Close your eyes

5. Connect your lips.

That's just not how the very first kiss goes, Honey. It's too quick for all the steps usually, so I think if you just stop thinking, take a deep breath and relax, you'll do just fine.

Answering questions about first kisses

I've been asked these questions by friends and readers, so here they are.

How much do I lean in?

If you have ever seen the movie Hitch, you'll know what I'm about to say.

If you're the girl, the guy will go about 90% of the way by leaning in. You just barely tilt and lean up, which you will do probably without even thinking about it. So, don't overthink it. By the way, most people tilt to the right.

What if I'm really bad?

Okay, here's the deal, Cuties. I've never heard of a first kiss being anything but normal and okay. It's hard for a peck to be magical or even bad. And, odds are, if you and your crush are good for each other, he'll over look it.

What if they're really bad?

It'll get better, I promise. Around the fourth kiss, you'll figure it out.

What's the deal with the whole instincts thing? Will I really know what to do without like, knowing what to do?

Yes! You will! I was very worried about this when the time came for my first kiss, so I'll let you in on how it feels. They're leaning in, you'll find yourself leaning in and the leading up moment is the best part. The actual lip on lip action is only around a second long.

Will there be sparks?

Ummm, that's a toughie. It'll be fun and there will be butterflies! but, I feel like the actual sparks come when you're making out or having a longer, more heated kiss. But don't worry, it'll happen eventually! 

If you have any more questions, please comment! I love answering.

And lastly, here's my first kiss story... you can skip this if you want and go straight to asking me questions!

I was 15 and a sophomore in high school (I'm talking about a real kiss, no elementary or middle school peck) and I had been with my first real boyfriend for nearly a month. And my boyfriend is the kind of guy to plan

everything so I already knew this kiss was coming and prepared with mint gum and strawberry eos chapstick. He was leaning against my locker like in one of those cheesy high school movies, and he said something along the lines of "I think I promised you something" and ran his tongue over his bottom lip. He can do sexy things like that... Ugh, I wish I could.

Anyways, he leans in and I'm nervous, so I start to blabber to myself. And he sort of shushes me before tucking his finger under my chin and kissing me. My boyfriend is (was, I guess) a bold guy, so he tried to french kiss me on the first kiss. I relaxed my lips and tried to remember everything I knew from my friends and the web and reading blogs such as this one and ended up just not kissing him back really.

And that was it! It wasn't sparking, but it was good and the perfect awkwardly sweet memory of a first kiss.